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Soul Reflections
 These images, collages, prayers, quotes or meditations are offered as an invitation to listen, journal, create art, pray or share with a trusted friend or counselor regarding the feelings and insights that each might stir within your own heart. At times we will feel receptive and open...other times resistant and uncomfortable to what is being offered. Every experience is valuable to honor and explore and has much to tell us about where we have been, where we are now or where we might be going. Invite God into the process, slow down and be present for a moment to reflect and listen to your own story and the changes that might be emerging on the horizon of your heart. Take in the sounds, words and images, listen to your heart and see what happens inside. Invite your emotions to the experience. If at any time you need to take a break from the feelings that might arise...step away from the activity and breathe...and return when you feel ready. Periodically, I will enter a new "Soul Reflection" and invite you on this creative journey of personal discovery.
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...Receive All the Love That Comes to You...
While you may feel physically and mentally strong, you stilll experience a forceful undercurrent of anquish. You sleep well, you work well, but there are few waking moments when you do not feel that throbbing pain in your heart that makes everything seem up in the air. You know that your are progressing, but you can't understand why this anquish keeps pervading everything you think, say or do. There is still a deep, unresolved pain, but you cannot take it away yourself. It exists far deeper than you can reach.
Be patient and trust. You have to move gradually deeper into your heart. There is a place far down that is like a turbulent river, and that place frightens you. But do not fear. One day it will be quiet and peaceful.
You have to keep moving, as you are doing. Live a faithful, disciplined life, a life that gives you a sense of inner strength, a life in which you can receive more and more of the love that comes to you. Wherever there is real love for you, take it and be strengthened by it. As your body, heart and mind come to know that you are loved, your weakest part will feel attracted to that love. What has remained separated and unreachable will let itself be drawn into the love you have been able to receive. One day you will discover that your anquish is gone. It will leave you because your weakest self let itself be embraced by your love.
You are not yet there, but you are moving fast. There will be a bit more pain and struggle. You have to dare to live through it. Keep walking straight. Acknowledge your anquish, but do not let it pull you out of yourself. Hold on to your chosen direction, your discipline, your prayer, your work, your guides, and trust that one day love will have conquered enough of you that even the most fearful part will allow love to cast out all fear.
"The Inner Voice of Love" A journey Through Anguish to Freedom
By Henri J.M. Nouwen Copyright 1996
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 If only my anguish could be weighed and
all my misery be placed on the scales.
It would surely outweigh the sand of the seas - no wonder my words have beenimpetuous.
Job 6:1-3
When we have lived for a long time by the 'don't talk' rule, learning to talk honestly and personally can be a real challenge. Our attempts to move away from self-deceit toward honest
self-disclosure may be quite awkward.
It's not reasonable to expect ourselves to be gifted at telling the truth when we have practiced deceit for so long. Sometimes our words will seem startling.
We will feel our pain, find our voice, and the words and emotions
will tumble out raw and uncensored. This text calls these 'impetuous' words.
Another translation of this text calls them 'wild words'. It is not easy to break the silence, to talk about what is real, to tell the truth about what we see and hear, to share what we think and feel,
to tell our stories.
Breaking the silence is like breaking the sound barrier
- sometimes it can be quite loud and it can rattle the walls a little. When our misery feels like it 'outweighs the sands of the sea,' our emotions are going to be intense and our words
will sometimes be wild.
Wild words are part of the journey and should not surprise us. Intense feelings sometimes need strong language
in order to find true expression. God I am not accustomed to talking. I am not gifted at honesty. I have practiced 'don't talk' for a long time. And now I need to practice honesty. Help me to be patient and accepting of my wild words. Even when the wild words frighten me. Help me to pursue the truth. Give me the courage I need. You, God, who created the worlds with a word, Give me the words I need. Copyright 1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan  ****************************************
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